My day as a jumping castle operator

When most people think of a 'carny' you think of a wily little man with the ability to empty a patrons pockets through the mere hint of the big win, glistening off his gold tooth. He's got the gift of the gab, so you really believe he's on your side and that the next throw of the under weighted ball at the concrete filled tin cans really will knock them over and win you that giant panda bear - which you are now convinced is your soul purpose and will complete your life as you know it.

While this mental image may be true of some carnival game operators, most simply find a niche and fill it. Nicole saw this gap in the market and now owns 9 blow up jumping units which she rents out to carnivals and private parties. I have deliberately steered away from the word 'castle' as in today's time of DS's, robotic playmates and online zoo animals, the humble castle just doesn't cut it. While the castle still sits in the nostalgic corner with the Rubik's cube and the yo yo, the jumping units of today include the red rocket, the elephant slide, the club house and the big draw cards, the jumping tractor and the dump truck slide.

My day as a carny began as I arrived at the community oval for the relay for life fair. The pitch and put lady was just laying out her holes while the face painter was placing mini chairs in a row by the coloured tubes that would ensure the oval was soon filled with tigers, butterflies and kitty cats.

And there they were, the deflated versions of the jumping units. A giant jumping jungle does not just appear out of thin air, in fact it appears from compressed air powered by a generator...  The idea when setting up jumping units is to have all the entrances facing each other so that an operator can easily monitor several units at one time. Kids are quick and it doesn't take long for the little tykes to figure out a way of climbing the unit and jumping off the top of it so a bit of thought at set up time can mean the operator has enough time to catch them on there way down the ornamental palm tree or the elephant slide.


The dump truck slide is definitely an impressive example of inflatable technology. It has several zippers to allow for easier deflation -unfortunately these zippers can also wreak havoc with inflation, especially if the one at the top hasn’t been zipped up and the top of your dump truck appears somewhat floppy. This then means that a carny must use a rope to pull one side of the blow up truck down while the other carny bravely climbs up through the plastic dump truck wheels to zip up the pesky zipper.... not an easy task!
Once all inflatables are firmly zippered and inflated, its time to set up the crowd guide ropes, put down the tarps for the shoe free zone and place the appropriate mats in the landing zone.

Once you have done all of this and the kids arrive you realise there was absolutely no point in doing any of it. Whether it's a developmental thing like tying your shoelaces or mastering buttons, little kids just don't see bright orange tape stretched out between stakes in a fence like construction. Well that's not true, they see it as a small inconvenience to be jumped on the way to the next unit... or a small stretchy tie that will be busted through with a little bit of perseverance. They also have no concept of shoes off when they see pumped up plastic up ahead, just that they must make their little legs move as fast as possible until their face is planted in plastic heaven. And lastly you discover that kids are like a magnate in reverse when it comes to landing pads. They are lined up, heading straight for it and at the last minute, boom, off the side and onto the ground. Rounding a bunch of kids up into a jumping unit is also a little like trying to sweep up Styrofoam balls...

So after a day of repeating the words 'shoes off' more times than sting sung 'Roxanne' and seeing the bottom lip reactions to the phrase 'you're too big' and after having mastered the art of climbing an inflatable tractor and catching a bee in a paper coffee cup, it was finally time to cut the power. It's literally quite a deflating moment watching the units come down amongst metres of tattered orange tape and bent stakes... But just as you feel like maybe the sentiment of it all is getting too much, you realise that all these units have to be rolled and folded and fitted back into the bags they came in. You can almost see the carny type man at the material factory designing the perfect bag to fit the unit and then removing a metre of material for his own personal amusement!

So the pros of being a carny? Working outside is definitely a plus. Seeing the sheer joy on the kids faces is also an amazing way to spend a day and the people, colour and nostalgia of it makes it a really pleasant job.
The down side to it is the time it takes to set up and pack up and of course the patients it takes to explain to a five year old why they can't enter the red rocket with their spiky fairy wings and gumboots on...
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My day as a housekeeper

Now everyone has done a little housekeeping from time to time, myself included, although my mother will tell you these are skills I was not born with and developed in later life. Most people have also stayed in the odd hotel room, wether it be the Super 8 with the questionable stain on the inside of the bathtub or the Hilton with the questionable stain on the inside of  the family name...

And during our stays we have all had varying degrees of delight over the carefully arranged towels and the little soaps and mini shampoos, some of us finding ourselves so delighted that these hotel conveniences have ended up in handfuls at the bottom of our handbags to be filed in the 'just in case' section of our bathroom cupboards.

But who is the artist behind the towel designs and bathroom arrangements? Who is the person who assigns our mints and mini soaps? It is of course the faithful housekeeper. So I approached the central booking department of the resort town I live in to spend a day in the life of a housekeeper.

A housekeepers day starts at the office where you are given your clean schedule for the day. This is a list of properties with information such as how many beds and bathrooms the property has so that you can pack sheets and towels appropriately.
Each clean is given a time value for example 405 Maple drive is a 5 hour clean. The housekeeper is payed for 5 hours regardless of how long it actually takes to clean the property.

So, once the van is packed with tubs filled with the linens for each property, cleaning supplies, bag of rags, mop bucket and vaccum, we set out to clean the first property on the list.


Once you enter the property, the first thing you must do is check the fridge. A housekeeper doesn't get paid terribly well so your income can be supplemented with left behind food and of course liquor. Once the 'value' of the clean has been assessed you can begin work.
There is no rocket science behind it all, you make the beds - of course using hospital corners because nothing says 'clean' like a tight bed thats impossible to get into.

Then you wipe down all surfaces, mirrors etc. Vacuum all carpeted areas, fluff couch cushions and place novelty stuffed animals appropriately.
The key to housekeeping is to let the client know that you have been there. This can be achieved by moving items such as coasters and magazines to a different position and needlessly spraying cleaning products into the air to give it that lemony fresh smell.

The real art to being a housekeeper though lies in the bathroom. This will make or break the illusion of clean in the clients eyes. Whether the bathtub and shower are actually clean or not doesn't matter, as long as there is no hair. For some reason, even though it covers our heads and most of our bodies, you find one hair in your food or heaven forbid in your bathtub where the most malting occurs and a shiver is sent down most of our spines.
So de-hairing done, it's time for the towel and toilet paper art.

I can now confidently say that I can fan a face washer with the best of them. I can fold the loo paper in such a way as to say to the next occupant, someone has been here, and they've touched the paper your about to wipe your ass with - comforting thought isn't it!?

The key to housekeeping is to get the clean done in far less time than you are paid for while making it look and smell as though you have been there. The perks include having no-one looking over your shoulder while you work and potentially walking away with items such as bottles of wine, left over steak and misplaced articles of clothing. The downside is never knowing exactly what you are going to find floating in the toilet bowl after a bucks weekend... Thank goodness for the flush and of course the life time supply of mini soaps.
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My day as a primary school teacher

Today I was an official chaperon on a grade 1 field trip to see the painted turtles at the provincial park - a job otherwise known in the industry as 'the official hand holder and nose wiper'. I arrived at school at 9:30am, just in time for the daily revision of numbers, days of the week, caterpillar cycles and the weather. After careful discussions between 5 year old billy and his buddy's, it was decided that counting backwards from 100 by 5's was not possible today, which was Thursday and that although it was cloudy and raining, there probably wasn't going to be any lightening... With my size 12 ass notably hanging over the sides of my plastic little persons chair, I settled in to show and tell which today featured a light/whistle for finding your home when you've lost it and a heart shaped necklace that after question time was discovered to have been found in the bedroom but not on the bed, or under it or next to it.

Finally it was field trip time, which as a primary school teacher means all kids must put their inside shoes in the basket and get their outside boots on. Next it's to the hooks where jumpers and coats are put on while Dora Explorer, Barbie, Spiderman and Spongebob backpacks packed with lunch, change of clothes and towel (as the destination was a lake...) are strapped to backs. Last stop is the washroom. 'Even if you don't need to go, just give it a go because we are on the bus for a whole hour and wecan't stop the bus once we're on it.

A full bus of excited kids on the way to a field trip... I'm not sure any amount of university training can prepare you for that. My 5 year old seat buddy said it best when she turned to me, chewing on a cheese stick and said, 'it's pretty wild back here.'

 
 After arriving at the lake we sat down for the turtle presentation. The turtle woman, talking in a slowed down theatrical voice, was making statements like 'the male turtles private parts are hidden in his tale...' With a tiny hand instinctively pressed into mine, I bit my tongue to stop a little giggle escaping and realised that in order to be a primary school teacher, I would need to learn how to speak 'kid'.

Talking kid is not something I've really done since my ass did fit in one of those little chairs and I thought plasticine was a breakfast food...

I learned pretty quickly that 'stop running around and sit down' doesn't work. If however you start chanting 'if you can hear my voice put your hands in the air, if you can hear my voice stop talking, if you can hear my voice put your bottom on the ground', pretty soon you've got 50 quiet kids sitting on the ground, granted they have their hands needlessly hanging in the air but it's a small price to pay for silent seated children.

  

 

I soon discovered that saying 'you can only point, don't touch', although sounding completely reasonable to the adult mind, is another big failure as moments after the words left my mouth I was surrounded by five year olds swirling their arms like windmills in every direction yelling point, point, point, point!!



I also now know that if you want kids to walk in a row and hike around a lake, you will need to convince them that Mrs Fraser is the engine and Mrs Taylor is the Caboose and that they are all carriages in the middle that can't overtake each other... the downside is the random 'choo choos' that you will hear in between the flora and fauna facts; but this is really nothing when you're speaking kid in a provincial turtle park...


 

After the turtle presentation and the lake hike, we had a bit of time before the bus came back to pick us up. Empty time with no activities is a dangerous thing in the world of a primary school teacher because this is the perfect time for sally to give Mr duck swimming around in that lake a quick pat and for johnny to figure out exactly how many acorns he can fit up his nose...

Luckily these primary teachers were old hats at this and had prepared an activity. With brown paper bags stapled with little lists in hand Mrs Fraser said 'ok kids, now we are going to go on a scavenger hunt.' To which in perfect 'kid' a little girl replied 'We're going to kill stuff?'. With the biggest smile on my face I then spent the next half an hour running around with my team of little troopers collecting shells and rocks and feathers and rocks and acorns and rocks and wild flowers and rocks and... bless them, we ended up with the heaviest bag of them all... and rocks wasn't even on the list!! 

To be a primary school teacher you need to hold a degree in primary education. But more importantly you need to be extremely patient, creative and be utterly fluent in 'kid'. You are probably not going to make your millions in this profession either but the pay off is that teachers can get up to three months of holidays per year. The biggest payoff however seems to be the sheer joy that you get watching these kids learn, be fascinated by rocks, fall and get up again and take it all in their little people strides.
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My day as a florist

Now I don’t know terribly much about being a florist. From my sadly small experience as a receiver of florist goods, I gather that the basic idea is to arrange flowers for different occasions and sell them wrapped in coloured paper and that ribbon that coordinated people can curl with scissors...
I did however have the idea that the first step in a florist’s day was to acquire the flowers... So to be true to my work experience experiment, I woke up in the morning and headed out to gather some flowers. Unfortunately, as spring hasn’t quite sprung here, I was greeted with a gravelled driveway with barely a blade of grass growing through, let alone a bouquet of flowers just waiting to be arranged. But then I saw him...the faithful dandelion, I’m pretty sure that flower would grow directly out of air given half a chance! And really with a backdrop like that, any flower would look amazing.

I had my work experience teed up for 12 noon so I thought I should spend my time with Google, gleaning everything I could about the world of the florist. So I typed in things like ‘how to be a florist’ and ‘tips for flower arranging’ and got everything from, ‘the use of a floral frog is very important’ to ‘sear the end of your stems on a hot fry pan to lock in freshness’. Now like I said, I’m new to this florist business but since when do you stick flowers in frogs and fry them up?!

There were some consistent tips though like:

1) Cut your stems one inch from the bottom on an angle

2) Arrange the focal flowers first and then fill the arrangement in with filler flowers

3) Remove leaves that will lie below the water line and remove thorns from roses

4) Use room temperature water and a nutrient mix. And my personal favourite

5) Flower arrangements don’t have to be perfect.

So there was hope for the dandelion arrangement yet...

With that last tip in mind I headed to The Green Petal to see what Carmen could teach the biggest work experience kid.

Carmen started off by showing me the cool room. Flowers have to be stored between 4 – 14 degrees Celsius to keep them fresh for as long as possible. Flowers are delivered in boxes 2-3 times a week by truck or in an emergency by air. The flowers are then cut (around an inch off the stem) and placed in room temperature water outside the cooler for around 2 hours, to reduce the amount of shock experienced. They are then grouped and stored in buckets of nutrient water in the cool room ready to be turned into bouquets and arrangements.
                                              

I asked Carmen many questions about flower arranging and was pleased to hear that there really are no hard and fast rules; it’s up to what you like. You are not going to have the petal police on your doorstep if you pair a gerbera with a geranium or combine a carnation with a chrysanthemum. If it looks good then that’s the main thing! She did say there are a few basic design guidelines such as larger or darker flowers should stay towards the base of the arrangement while smaller and lighter coloured flowers should go towards the top. This and the use of the colour wheel help to entice the natural flow of the human eye.

Carmen knew she wanted to work with flowers, so she got a job in a flower shop as an assistant and worked there for 4 years, eventually working her way up to manager. She has taken 2 short courses in floral design and opened her own business less than a year ago. She says a florist is not a business where you will make millions, but it is fulfilling, even when you’re delivering flowers for a sad event, flowers are the happy side of the sadness.

She talked about working with brides up to 6 months in advance to plan their flower arrangements but how it’s nice as a designer to be able to guide people in their choices based on seasonal flowers and additional items such as feathers and natural cotton stems.

I asked her to show me how to wrap a flower in paper and cellophane and was pleased once again that this is largely governed by personal preference and experience rather than a hard and fast handbook on flower wrapping.

She showed me the mysterious florist foam which is used to hold flowers together at the base of an arrangement and showed me how you ‘wire’ gerberas to keep them upright.

She had a book on colours and flower varieties and also says she follows bridal blogs and uses websites such as sierraflowerfinder.com and floralverde.com but apart from that it is basically up to her preference, experience and creativity.

Unfortunately Carmen’s flower delivery was running late so we were not able to do any arrangements. So after learning as much about it from her as I could I headed off to complete my work experience.

Taking on Carmen’s advice that anything goes, I bought some flowers, some fruit and gathered some foliage from the parks in the area. Then I set to work, cutting the stems an inch from the bottom (seeing Carmen hadn’t mentioned it I decided to leave the frogs and fry pans to the more experimental florists...)

So am I a budding florist? The freedom of creativity and the varied work day is definitely appealing and the idea of working to provide joy in people’s life is definitely a worthy investment of time. As working as a florist is not a certified career, it also seems like a job you could master through experience rather than extended education. Whether you could survive on the $10 an hour that you’re likely to be paid for the first few years while gathering experience is another matter... Working as a florist definitely seems like a fulfilling career and one that you would be happy to get out of bed for every day, even if it was just for a dandelion!

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